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About Literature / Hobbyist Through Fire, Nature is Reborn.Female/United States Recent Activity
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15 deviations
  • Listening to: I Will Follow You Into The Dark
  • Drinking: Tea
The past is hard to look at. Some of it fuzzy, blurry, chunks of it you can't even remember. But other moments from your past stand out clear as day. Some moments make you so happy when you think of them, others make you want to cry. But others, some other moments and memories tear at your soul and make you die a little bit each time you think of it.

I told someone very close to me, my Little Ghost, something that happened to me a long time ago and it hurts. More than I ever thought it would, I thought I was beyond it affecting me this much. But I see now that I'm not, not even remotely. And even though telling tore open all those old wounds and fears, I'm not alone this time. I was very, very alone the last time, but now...... now it's better because, while the fears are still there and still very real and I'll have to work hard to fix them and it all still hurts so, so much, I am not alone. I have someone here to hold my hand and tell me the shadows can't hurt me. That there's nothing really there to hurt me. That nothing can hurt me this time because you're with me.

This time it's different. I can be a little less strong, a little less brave, a little more scared, a lot more open, and most importantly a lot more open with the person that matters most. Finally, there's no more skeletons in my closet, at least not with my Little Ghost. You know everything there is to know and now there's only new memories to be made, if you'll still want to make them.

I built walls and buried the bad memories down deep. I made myself forget and not deal with it, it never happened and I was alright. I wasn't alright..... I'm not alright. There are cracks in my armor, giant chunks missing from me, I see that now, I didn't see it before, didn't let myself see it before because I was lying to myself. But I never dealt with anything, I never let myself break down over it, I had to be strong and move on, keep going and show no fear, smile and keep my head up. But now that these horrible, awful shadows are back in my life it's all breaking me down again along with everything else that's wrong with me. I feel as though I'm going to buckle underneath all the worries and fears.

Who knows, maybe I will. But maybe, just maybe this time I can do more than just keep my head above the water. Maybe I can learn how to rise above it and turn the shadows into the light.

Journal History


Through Fire, Nature is Reborn.
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Offended, you are? A shit I don't give!

Knock, Knock. Come inside, Cross your Heart and Live to Die....

This is not outta the blue! It's smack dab in the middle of the blue!

People say writing is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration. This is nonsense -- It's pretty much 100 percent caffeine..... At least in my case.
I quit coffee for a while, which is BIG news. But then I replaced it with about twenty-seven cups of green tea per day. (Probably making the whole quitting-coffee thing moot.)
So while I may have switched seats, I'm still drowning ( although vivacious and alert ) in a sea of stimulant.

I think that if you give someone your word, you should be able to stand on it just as solid as ground. And that if you can't keep it, warn me before you break it.

Because it hurts to fall from a height so high....

Little bits of Wisdom....

One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains it's original dimensions.
Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined.
Keep your eyes on the Stars and your feet on the Ground.
Destiny is not a matter chance, it is a matter of choice.
Don't be afraid to be Different.
There is no such thing as limits to growth, because there are no limits to the human capacity for intelligence, imagination, and wonder.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.

Imagine You.
Perfectly amazing You.
Not wasting your time trying to be somebody else.
Taking the time to discover who You really are.
Learning to Love your authentic Self.
You. Are. Remarkable.
Imagine that...

" Call it a Clan, Call it a Pack, Call it a Network, Call it a Tribe, Call it a Family. Whatever you call it, Whoever you are, You need one."

Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
But making the most of the cards you're dealt.

There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.


I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!if you can raed tihs rpsoet it. OLNY PUT THIS ON YOUR PRILOFE IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS. CNAHGE THE NMUERBR AT TOP TGOHUH, "ONLY __ PEOPLE ON DA CAN READ THIS...CAN YOU?" Go up a nmuber if you can raed it...lte's see how hgih we can get!

God loves you, And I'm trying to....

Even when you're in the middle of nowhere, cling to the edge of somewhere.

I know why the Joker looks likes he does....

..........Because Adele set fire to the rain! :onfire:

Things age, grow old and die,
That's the circle of life.
But some things stay with us,
Some things never die...
Love and Music live on... Forever.
Stay with me... Forever and Always.

❑ Single
❑ Taken
✔ Mentally dating characters that don't actually exist

❒ Taken. ❒ Single. ✔ FOREVER ALONE.

Favourite genre of music: Any
MP3 player of choice: Zune
Personal Quote: " If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell."




Look what I learned!
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:iconlordvaderplz: :iconsithplz: :iconmasteryodaplz: :iconmacewinduplz: :iconjediplz: :iconnoesjediplz: :iconlarryjediplz: :iconblankjediplz: :iconanakinplz: :iconalienwatjediplx: :iconsmurfjediplz: :iconsmurfsithplz: :iconyodaplz: :iconr2d2plz: :yoda: :stormtrooper: :jedi:

:jarksaber: :altermind: :matrixfight: :tmnt1: :tmnt2: :tmnt3: :tmnt4: :cylon: :skullbones: :pirate: :skull: :sherlock: :mib: :spyedvsjark: :jarkinajar: :alphaosiris: :empllama: :emplllama: :stinkeye: :shifty: :alien: :alientwo: :alienxmas:

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NIKON-AJ Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2015   Photographer
Thanks for the Favourite 
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